“Send them a thank-you email”
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Mum walks in with a stack of red packets for me.
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Mum:
Make sure you send thank-you emails to all of them…
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Me (sarcastically):
That's a lot of emails to send in one night…
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Mum:
Well, yeah, but do you want the money or not?
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Me (I didn't quite get that last point…):
Well, who're they from?
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Mum:
This one's from Daniel Lee…
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Me:
Never met him before.
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Mum:
Of course you haven't, they're all people from my office.
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Me:
Then how'm I supposed to send them emails?!
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Mum:
I'll read out the names and you record them now.
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(Makes no sense whatsoever, but anyway)
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Me:
Why don't you just email me their emails and I'll email them?
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Mum:
All right. Make sure you send them thank-you emails!
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Me:
THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU TO EMAIL ME THEIR EMAILS!
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Fuck, bring on the English orals. Anything but ‘pushing bullshit around the table, like dung beetles’, as Karl Pilkington said…
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