January 2010
clientsfromhell:
“We’re looking for a high-exposure designer for our site. We want some flash stuff, maybe even some other interactive features.
I can only afford a one-time $25 payment upon completion/upload of the site, however it’s a great way to add a fun, popular business to your portfolio.”
clientsfromhell:
Client: “That font right there! It’s clean yet edgy. There’s no WAY I’ve seen that font before, I would’ve remembered! What font is that?”
Me: “Arial.”
“Those hands look like lesbian hands.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
[After a video shoot]
“Can’t you just lower the resolution to Standard Def so I don’t have to pay the Hi Def price on the video?”
“I need to know what size you need the graphics for the website. Is two? Maybe...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“I showed this to my eight year old daughter and she didn’t like the colors.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Hatter: D'you know why they call me Hatter?!
Alice: ... Because you wear a hat?
“As far as i know, there is no ‘no way’ in the IT Business!”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“I do not play games on computers because there is nothing serious about playing...”
– Marko Calasan, 9
1st Person Tetris: a great way to get dizzy →
(via randomampersand)
Not only that but you have to match up the colours I think.
This will be one hell of a game to play.
clientsfromhell:
Client: “I want a website that can make me a lot of money. Can you do that?”
Me: “Sure, what do you have in mind”
Client: “… one that can make me a lot of money…?”
clientsfromhell:
Client: “I have a great idea, and I’d like to bring you on board as a partner.”
Me: “Go on..”
Client: “It’s great. I want to recreate Google, but make it better.”
Me: “How?”
Client: “Well that’s where your expertise comes in.”
“Most of our photos are all white people, but we need to show more diversity, and...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Here, I really like Apple’s logo, so I’ve taken their logo and put our name...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Petals Around the Rose →
leefindlow:
One of them weird puzzle things, can you work it out?
“I can’t afford to pay you the balance, but would you like my Jack Russell...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV...”
– FML (via randomampersand)
Please send me a virus to make sure it works
Abishek: Ravish, I need you to send me a virus to make sure it works
Ravish: -stare-
“Your hourly rate is okay, as long as you don’t need more than an hour. And you...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
clientsfromhell:
The Brief: A series of 12 covers for children’s puzzle books. To use bright primary colours.
Client: “You seem to have used some colours more than once”.
Me: “Yes, there are only so many colours”
The client: “Well you’re the designer. Can’t you come up with some new ones”.
“I want a solid background. Something that fades from light to dark or dark to...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”
– David Richerby
“Please remove commas and periods thanks”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“I need 365 all-new, original ‘Far-Side’-esque cartoons for a daily calendar. I...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“That looks really nice, we love it…could you also ditch the graphics and just...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“The world is made up of 10 kinds of people: the ones who understand binary...”
– AP_Nerd (Sparknotes)
“Of course I want it today! If I want it tomorrow, I’ll order it tomorrow!”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Hate it. try again.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Six Truths of Life (from an email mom sent me...
You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.
All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
And discover that the first truth is a lie and feel superior because they can do it.
You’re smiling now because you’re an idiot.
You soon will forward this to another idiot.
There’s still a stupid smile on your face.
It worked on me. Proof that I am, of course,...
“Can we increase the size of the logo by two fingers.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“I want a list of companies that no one has heard of.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Our web application support team doesn’t know html or javascript, can you redo...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“I don’t like this ad because it has an image of a bee. I see it and it reminds...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“Please move the title two space-bar spaces to the left.”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“What would happen if the internet was full?”
– (via clientsfromhell)